


Phan Philosophies

by PailetteHazel



Series: PhanSan Collabs [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, Gen, Inspired by Sanders Sides, YouTube
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23078602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PailetteHazel/pseuds/PailetteHazel
Summary: Two years after their first Collab video, Dan and Phil visit Thomas again. They discover just how much they've changed since last time they spoke to their sides.
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester
Series: PhanSan Collabs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658635
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. The Sequel

Just like many times before, Youtube’s homepage got refreshed. The content seemed uninteresting, until a new video appeared in the corner of the recommended page. Amazingphil had uploaded a new video! A small smirk and a click later, the collab video started to play. 

“REVISITING OUR SIDES! ft. Thomas Sanders”

The video showed three men sitting next to each other on a familiar grey couch. 

The one on the left, with curly brown hair, turned to the smallest of the trio who sat in the middle. “So in two years you did not update the setup for more than two people?” The other looked like he was going to respond, but before he could do so the video cut.

“Hello everybody!” The third guy with a black quiff exclaimed enthusiastically. “You might recognize this couch from a video I uploaded two years ago, in which Thomas Sanders-” He gestured to the guy in the middle, who grinned at the camera. “Helped us see and talk to our ‘Sides.’” He accompanied that last word by moving his hands up, in an attempt to mimic quotation marks.

“Wait Phil, has it really been two years?” The curly-haired man asked. “Because it feels like at least ten.” “Yeah!” Phil replied, causing the other to briefly look away with an existential gaze in his eyes, captured by a monotone close-up. “Jesus Christ.” he cursed, and the other two snickered.

Phil then continued his intro. “In that video, Thomas gave Dan and I the temporary ability to conjure up our sides, which are personifications of parts of our personality, and talk to them. If you want to watch that video, you can click here.” He gestured to the upper right corner of the video, where a link popped up. 

“So obviously, it has been a long time, people change” Dan took over. “You lost your purple hair, and Phil his fringe.” Thomas laughed, raking his hand through his natural brown strands. “And you two came out as gay!” he added. “Still congratulations, by the way.” “Thank you!” replied the duo, as the rainbow flag colors were briefly visible as a transparent overlay on the screen. “Oh yeah! Everyone on this couch is gay now. It’s a gay couch. A Gouch” Phil remarked jokingly, causing the other two to laugh. 

“MY POint was, ” Dan grinned, taking the conversation back to its original subject. “We have changed as people, so it would make sense for our sides to have changed as well, right? ”  
Thomas nodded. “That is true: because your sides are the personification of facets of your personality, they change when you grow as a person. Since I have uploaded my first video with them, my sides changed a lot too. They have developed more distinct personalities and preferences, and I also discovered that I have more than I initially thought.” 

“Wait,” Phil interrupted. “So you have more sides than uh, Morality, Creativity-” He counted on his fingers. “Uuh.. Logic?” “And Anxiety.” Dan added, pointing. “Yeah..” Thomas shifted a bit. “I have discovered that there are certain aspects of your personality that you can.. Hide away from yourself. These sides.. Dark sides- or I should say, The Others, are the parts of yourself that you are in denial about, that you do not want to accept as being part of you.” 

The mood of the video had shifted: Dan and Phil glanced at each other worriedly as Thomas seemed to remember something.. unpleasant. Then he spoke up again. “It might not be a good idea to make them come out today. It can be very personal and, well, emotionally challenging to be faced with the darkest parts of yourself so directly.” The other two nodded in understanding, but Dan looked more anxious about the concept than Phil. 

A jumpcut, and Thomas clapped in his hands. “Alright! Let’s start. Who wants to go first?” The two Brits looked at each other quickly. “Last time Phil was-” “I went first, yeah” “so maybe we can do me first- This time?” “Yeah I think that might be good.” 

Thomas nodded and turned towards Dan, who let out a nervous chuckle. “You remember how this went?” The lanky guy waved with his hand. “Yeah, yeah, Let’s do this.” Then the host put his hand on the shoulder of the other and closed his eyes.

“You’re nervous.” Thomas said. “Are you sure-” “Yes, yes.” Dan muttered. “Okay.” Thomas said. “Talk to your sides. Listen. Find the balance again. ” He smiled kindly and waited for a moment, giving Dan some time to back out if he wasn’t comfortable. He didn’t. Thomas leaned back, and glanced at Phil before standing up. “We won’t be far.” Phil said, noticing Dan’s tension. Then, Thomas and Phil left the room. Dan sighed and walked to the middle, glancing at the spots where two years ago, his sides had appeared. "Hello everyone."


	2. Dan

He didn't have to wait long: Anxiety appeared before Dan could even finish his sentence. "This was a bad idea, this was a bad idea-" shouted the side who resembled Dan’s current appearance, but with the old emo aesthetic and darker shade of hair. Dan winced slightly at his negative thoughts being spoken out loud. 

“Another sides video? Really? Haven’t you given the internet enough munition yet? Who knows what will happen after this is uploaded. Maybe now your fans finally decide they’ve got enough of your cries of attention-”

"Can you please stop?" An annoyed voice came from next to the stairs, where Logic had popped up. He still wore a impeccable white shirt, but had also added a slender black tie this time around. “Anxiety, this happened after the Coming Out video too. And you remember how the reaction was to that.” “It CouLD have been bad! There are still lots of homophobes out there.” Anxiety refuted. “Or the fans could have turned on you for making such a big deal out of it, or Phil could have hated how-” 

Dan took a deep breath. God, he’d forgotten how loud his thoughts could get. “Yes, hello, nice to see you guys again.” He addressed the two, waving his arms around. “I don’t know what the hell I am supposed to do here, but you can at least stop shouting. Thanks.”

Logic adjusted his tie. "Yes. Sorry. You know Anxiety tends to blow things out of proportion." “It's still dangerous to expose yourself like that.” Anxiety hissed from his spot on the stairs, but less panicked than earlier. 

"Dan! Oh my goodness, it's so great to see you again!" In front of the television, another side popped up. Dan remembered that Creativity had been wearing his golden glittery tatinof suit: but now his creative side had appeared in an upgraded, more elaborate version which looked like it wouldn't be out of place at the MET-gala. 

"Hi." Dan greeted. Damn, who knew that some version of him would be able to pull that kind of fashion off.

Creativity looked around the room and gazed at the two left-brained sides glaring at each other. "I heard your bickering all the way in my room." he stated. "Room?" said Dan. "Well it's not my fault Dan wants to show so much of himself." said Anxiety. 

"Falsehood." Logic reacted. "Dan has no- lust for exposing himself, rather-" Anxiety snickered and Creativity cringed. "Please, don't say it like that."   
Logic sighed, then continued: "What I'm trying to say is this. Anxiety, your job is to protect Dan and keep him from getting hurt. And-" he added. "You're good at that." Anxiety continued glaring, unimpressed. 

"A little bit too good, at some moments." Creativity joined. "If Dan listened only to your voice, he would never take chances! Challenge himself and become the best possible version of himself! He would never be able to realise his dreams!" The grand words were accompanied with dramatic gestures, as if the side was acting for the back row.

Dan folded his arms. "That's easier said than done tho. Don't you need like.. self esteem for that?" Creativity groaned. "I got so many ideas ready to go at any moment, before they're shut down by one of those party animals.." He gestured to the other side of the room, then sighed. "You know what? I'm not good at peptalks. I'm calling sunshine." 

Before Dan could ask for clarification about who the hell that was, the last side of the quartet, dressed in a pink sweater and matching flower crown rose up in front of the blinds.

"My dearest sugar puff." Creativity addressed him. "Could you please help me convey to these nerds that their bickering is counterproductive?" Morality smiled at Dan, who raised his hand, before the side looked at Logic and Anxiety. The latter hunched in on itself. "I'm sorry- I'm just trying to keep Dan safe, I know it's not-" "It's okay, I understand." Morality assured him. "In the past, Dan needed your protection. And you're still in that setting, so to say.. but he is safe now. You are safe." 

Dan suddenly realised what was going on with his thoughts. "Wait wait wait, so that is why I'm freaking out right now? Because of the.." he clenched his jaw,"shitty situations I've been through?" Logic seemed to have come to the same conclusion. "At his core, Anxiety is well, helping you to survive. But your situation and surroundings have changed, causing the.. uh, overreaction. But that's not the right word: 'reflex' would be more appropriate." 

"Okay, so how can I deal with it?" Dan crossed his arms, looking around the circle of people who shared his face. "Well, you can logically determine what is making you anxious, and if that is really a threat." Logic listed. "You can look at what you've accomplished in the past, and be proud of how far you've come!" Creativity added, enthusiastically. "And if that doesn't work, you can always remember that you're supported by the Four F's" Morality stated. "Your fans, friends and family!" Dan frowned. "You said four F's. What's the last one?" "Well… Fhil." 

The pink-clad side erupted into a giggle fit. Anxiety snorted and Creativity groaned. "Oh my god." Logic said, but he couldn't help to smile. Dan had put a hand to his face in an attempt to hide his reaction. "Alright, if you're bursting out the puns I think it's time to end this session." 

"That's fair. Farewell Daniel." "Wonderful seeing you again! Goodbye!" Logic and Creativity sunk out. Dan turned to Morality. "Thank you." "For the reminder or for the pun?" Dan sighed. "Not for the- you know what?" A grin appeared around his lips "F**ks sake. Nevermind. Thank you for being here and reminding me of what I had to do, I guess." "It's a process." Morality shrugged. "So don't be too hard on yourself. I believe in you." And with a smile and a wave, he sank down. 

The last remaining side shifted on his feet uneasily. As soon as Dan focused his attention back on him, a nervous smirk appeared on his face. "Hey." "Hey," Dan replied with a nod. "Too bad we only get to talk when I'm at Thomas's." The side looked down. "Well, not completely true. I might have a metaphysical form now, but I'm still.. you." Anxiety sighed. "I'm your anxiety, like, all the nervous and anxious thoughts in your head, that's me. Causing trouble." "Good thing you're not the only voice in my head then." Dan countered. "And I'll still need some of those reflexes when someone breaks into our apartment." Anxiety snickered and nodded. "We'll work together." 

And with that, the last side sank out and the room was way too empty again. Dan sighed, tiredly, and glanced at the door through which Phil and Thomas would enter again.


End file.
